


Contrast

by Martienne



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-07
Updated: 2013-07-07
Packaged: 2018-03-23 11:55:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3767215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Martienne/pseuds/Martienne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Memories of a better time both frustrate and delight her. AU in which Agent Connecticut had been at the temple in the desert when the Reds and Blues arrived.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Contrast

This assignment had been nothing but trouble and this day had brought another string of spectacular failures to the proceedings. She had just a moment to be alone and she retreated to the giant troop transport she had been using as a makeshift base during her time on this mission. She had nothing but suspicions about the soldiers who had arrived, disguised as simulation troopers. They were incompetent and inefficient, but they knew something. It didn’t take much thinking to realize that.

Whenever she felt overwhelmed or agitated, or simply felt like she needed to take a little time to disconnect from her surroundings and recharge for a moment, she would close her eyes and meditate on the water. She had always loved the water. She had grown up on the shore of Lake Michigan, in the cool woods of Wisconsin; back in her high school days, she used to go out in the kayak when she felt contemplative. So when these moments came, that’s where she retreated to in her mind. She closed her and took a few slow breaths, bringing up the image of the ripples on the water—for some reason that’s what always came first, the ghostly image of ripples that slipped across the surface of the water and bumped into each other, the influence of other ripples changing their shapes before they dissipated. Most of the time, as her mind drifted, it wouldn’t take too long before she could almost feel the pull of the paddle as it smoothly intersected with the water, the movement of her arms, muscles bunching and lengthening, propelling the craft forward, then the dip of the paddle as the other end lowered to break the silver surface of the lake.

How had she even sunk this low? This should have been a done deal on the very first day. Here it had been weeks. She’d never felt like a failure until she was recruited by the Project. That was the thing she had realized after it was too late; when you join a group of the elite among the elite, some people just aren’t going to be at the top. People like her, who were used to success, to excellence, being…well, not effortless, but it was attainable. Very much in her grasp.

It hadn’t been until she’d been admitted to the Freelancer Project that it all began to crumble. No matter what she did during training, she could never defeat enough of the other agents to be at the top. The fact that there were posted rankings at all…well, she wasn’t sure, but it may have been psyching her out. Causing her to choke. That was when she started these visualizations, hearkening back to a time when no one had to keep score to know that she was the best; she just  _was_. No one had questioned it. There was no need to. But from then on it just seemed like the harder she tried, the more risks she took, the more desperately she wanted it, the worse things got.

And now, this fucking desert was even trying to take the water away from her.

It took a couple of minutes of slow breathing, eyes closed, visualizing it, before she felt herself get immersed in that scene. And a couple minutes was really all she had. She blinked herself out of it, shook herself slightly and stood. She’d given them a little time. She was determined to succeed at this assignment and that meant assuring that those troopers repaired their jeep and got the hell out so she could focus on more important matters. That was one thing she knew she couldn’t fail at. 


End file.
